Discovering yourself !!!!!!!!

Hold on if you are thinking that this note is the same old self analysis & stuffs like you commonly read in books...the answer is NO...Its about a simple experience which says that normally we try to escape difficulties & troubles in life...but Alas!!! just like our best friend it just cant do without interfering in our lives & making our lives hell...(well its not that best freinds always makes your life hell ;)...)

We say that Difficult Situations in life makes us a stronger person. But on the contrary it just helps you in introducing you to your actual self...sometimes after a particular behavior you speak to yourself...GOSH!!!was that me...you are stunned by your own reaction...its not that you suddenly became so powerful...or that you were touched by a magic wand for that particular moment...It only forced you to bring out your inner strength which you had kept within...its during the real test of time when you pound yourself so hard that you are able to rise to your full potential...

You might feel you know yourself...but that protective environment just keeps you away from what you actually are & things you are really worth of...Lets say when you start seeing someone...more then you its your best friend who will keep telling you how deeply or madly you are in love with this person..he/she will keep poking you & teasing you so much, ultimately forcing you to go & shout out your feelings...& sometimes the opposite bringing you almost on the verge of breakups :)....well am I sounding like making a comparative analysis between a best friend & a difficult situation..lolzz...

Well the idea is just to pass on the message of facing the tough times with the tougher YOU!!!! lets see who wins...YOU or your BEST friend ;)......

Welcome 2010

The journey through 2009 left me with lot of old memories & dreams, the burden of which was precisely on 2010. I wanted to see this New Year with high hopes & I did try but the very 1st step & my legs were shaken. It started with a traumatic note with me lying on the ground, trying to find some support & perhaps some sympathy as well. My face turned red, not with anger but with Blood, awww…was what I could say, as this was the first time I have ever witnessed it, was shocked but then I smiled & was quite happy until I realized that the pain has set in & it’s unbearable. I gave up. I tried not to cry. Blood was enough to roll down my cheeks. This little encounter with what flows within me, prompted me towards certain things….things which otherwise would have gone unnoticed. It was a special year. It was a year for me to set my goals & touch my dreams. This was an indication from heaven, from that supreme power which exists somewhere up there. I took the challenge. I decided not to give up & here I am, writing. Yes, writing & exploring myself. Penning down my thoughts which I always knew I can, & trust me I always wanted to, but never did. I am feeling relaxed, at peace. Things have started changing & for the better.

memory lane

"A room hung with pictures is a room hung with thoughts."

This week the prompt on Carry on Tuesday is a quote from Sir Joshua Reynolds

Here's mine for Carry on Tuesday

One day walking down the memory lane
I saw nothing just a photo frame
Where did I see it, I have no clue
Perhaps in an empty room, painted in blue
It was a room hung with pictures
Seemed like a narration, written in scriptures
Then how do I say it was an empty room
I think I am a novice, I need to be groomed
Here time had left its pace, it had to
As it was a room hung with thoughts!

Waiting!!!!

Life is such a mystery if you think it that way. I too think that I have faced a lot in life & still the sentence has not come to an end. I am tired. I really am. But this tiredness is not of some hard work or struggle in life, this tiredness is coz of the stability in my life that I am lacking. I want to stop for some time & let my thoughts wonder. I want to know who I am. I want to know what I am & many such simple yet complicated questions are there which needs to be answered.

Sometimes I feel even I am no less then that ugly creature who can go to any extent to mould things in his direction. I am like a wild beast that has no value for words like emotions, friendship & love. I am quite astonished at my own self & the expertise I have gained in playing with innocence, trust & purity. Still my heart doesn’t abandon the thoughts of getting that pure love one day. Heart! Ya you got it right, even I have it, though few people think it just a part of my body performing its functional task. But I know it beats. It still beats & is waiting for that gentle touch that can come close & say; relax honey, it’s me!

If you ask me, how do I expect life to give me all that now? Do I really deserve it? Well I know the answer is no, I don’t. But then did I deserve what still remains with me as a nightmare. What I am today is simply the reflection of what life has given me in the past. I know I am sour, but then if lemon is squeezed excessively then it is ought to give a bitter taste. I am no longer me. The sweetness in me has withered with time but I want to live my life again. I want to become sweet again. I want to love again. I want to trust someone again. I want to give myself away to someone, but this time it has to be for life. I am waiting for you.....